Harry Potter and the Halcyon Days

While the core story here is a little self-centered, I think it'll resonate with a lot of Harry Potter, and ex-Harry Potter, fans. Because honestly, despite everything that's happened since then, the importance of Harry Potter to most of a generation can't be overstated. These books raised people. They brought families together, they forged friendships, they sparked art and marriages and creative careers. That's what makes the sour turn the franchise took so heartbreaking.

As a kid, I was obsessed with Harry Potter. I mean, lots of kids were, but as an autistic kid, I fixated on them. I would read them over and over again. I could recite the list of Bertie Botts flavors Harry tried on the train, right down to 'and was even brave enough to nibble the end off a funny gray one that turned out to be pepper.' (Years after reading that book, I still didn't have to look up that line.) My parents had to instate a rule to make me read different books in between rereads of Harry Potter.

And let's be honest, the books were always flawed. Harry was always a somewhat incomplete character. The treatment of Slytherins was always a little suspect, Dumbledore's benevolence a bit too universally unquestioned. There were plot points not fully justified, parts of the Wizarding World not completely filled out. But all of these flaws were forgivable. They were children's books, and their sense of wonder and whimsy gave them a special place in the hearts of millions. There was no need to nitpick.

You can see, in the Harry Potter fandom today, all of the places where people broke.

For me, it was the letter. This letter, where JK Rowling doubled down on her transphobia. This letter was the breaking point for a lot of people. While she believes herself to be trans-positive, and I can see why she thinks that, it betrays a lot of deep-rooted prejudice that she is uninterested in examining. And that is where the Harry Potter problem begins.

Harry Potter is a beautiful and compelling story, with beautiful and compelling characters. The characters and setting still live in my head, and I've come to accept that they will never leave. But when I try to read the books, after reading that letter, I can see nothing except the deep-seated prejudice that is written into them.

I see how every woman without fail falls for Gilderoy Lockhart, and becomes part of a mindless, giggling swarm. I see the same thing happen with Viktor Krum, and with Harry in the later books. I see the tacit approval of colonialism in her treatment of the goblins, her weird contortion of the concept of networking, her thematic condemnation of ambition and desire for success. I can't read the books anymore. I can't stand them.

So why do I still love Harry Potter? Simply put: because I, like every other reader the world over, made the story my own when I was still a child. That's what happens when you love a book that much. That's where fanfiction comes from. The story starts to live inside you, and it develops certain truths within the privacy of your heart. You decide that Harry grows up to be powerful and charismatic, or that Hermione is the true star of the series, or that Ron is underappreciated and brilliant and grew up so well.

You have this story that you know and love so well, with all of these thoughts and feelings that maybe don't always fit perfectly with the text, but that's fine, because the text doesn't argue with you. Once you open the book, it's yours. It's your world.

Then JK Rowling starts throwing stones into your garden. One stone is labeled 'radical feminists aren't even trans-exclusionary - they include trans men in their feminism, because they were born women.' Another reads 'autistic girls are hugely overrepresented in [Britain's transitioning population.]' And 'or is it only possible for a woman to experience her life if she's got a penis?' (The first two quotes are taken from the linked letter. The third is taken from her Twitter feed, which I see has been reduced to the hotheaded affectations of someone who is receiving far too much criticism to actually learn from it.)

I digress. JK Rowling is throwing stones - not at you, just in your general direction, and you realize you don't like her anymore. And then you realize the book you're reading is a gift from her, and so you don't want it anymore. But you've already read the book. You already know you love the book. You've already told all your friends about the book. You can give the book back to her, but it won't destroy those memories.

That's the Harry Potter problem.